Serious researchers have conducted a number of advanced studies into what is commonly called "The Teenage Problem". As previously mentioned it should be remembered that all such studies are subject to the "No Connectivity Rule" that is, the apparent selective amnesia suffered by most adults when attempting to remember their own teenage years.
One of the more interesting results came from a study conducted amongst a sample of adults from the "Responsible Adult" and "Nurturing Parent" sub species. Although a number of these subjects had been positively identified as metamorphosing from the "Wild and Irresponsible", "Lout" and "Negatively Responding" sub species of Teenagers they all exhibited profound discomfort when questioned and insisted that their own pre Adult years had been as "Diligent", "Co operative" or even "Polite" Teenagers. Significantly, but also confusingly, none of the tested Adults were diagnosed as lying. In fact all tests concluded that the subjects really believed what they were saying!
These results add more confusion to the massive amounts of conflicting data already accrued and throw considerable doubt on many previously held assumptions, for example it is now beginning to become clear that the pre metamorphosis stage (of the teenager) has no bearing what so ever on the form of the fully matured Adult. Some avant-garde researchers have even gone so far as to theorise that the influence of the Adult species on the pre pubescent pupa has more influence over the adult form that the teenager will adopt.
At this stage of research, in spite of all the conflicting evidence, a small number of facts have emerged, unfortunately these facts have been self evident since research began so we are no further along the long and difficult task of understanding the species "Teenager". For the uninitiated here is a brief synopsis of what we do know: -
1. All Teenagers, in all the subspecies, think they know everything
2. All Teenagers, in all the subspecies, are capable of loud and irritating behavior.
3. All Teenagers, in all the subspecies, are capable of , and delight in, rebellious behavior.
4. All Teenagers, in all the subspecies, have some inner compulsion to experiment with their lives.
5. All Teenagers, in all the subspecies, are subject to behavioral anomalies influenced by hormonal conflicts.
6.All Teenagers, in all the subspecies, are seriously effected by peer group pressures
7. All Teenagers, in all the subspecies, can, and will do, the deliberately and completely unexpected
8. All Teenagers, in all the subspecies, willfully and deliberately defy adult directives
9. All Teenagers, in all the subspecies, vigorously investigate any endeavour they are told not to pursue
10. All Teenagers, in all the subspecies, are a complete mystery to adult observers.
Finally I must give a word of warning to all Adults contemplating a study of the Teenage Problem. This study is fraught with danger and can result in sleepless nights, frustrating days, fear, confusion, trips to sporting fixtures, unexpected transportation demands, senseless rage, worry and, if the would be researcher is considering breeding their own test subjects, a considerable financial burden.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
A REPORT ON THE "TEENAGE " SPECIES - Part 1
Yes teenagers - those disgusting, fresh looking, adult defying, monsters that remind us of the frivolous excesses of our own youth and whom we so dearly love to hate. Their resemblance to other well known species of pests is well reported. Teenagers come in all shapes and sizes but display several common traits that allow for an easy and positive identification.The most common trait is that Teenagers universally think they know everything, this is a common trait across all subspecies and is one of the most reliable identifiers of the species as a whole. Another pointer to the general species is a tendency to congregate in packs of various sizes. These packs can be found at various venues including beaches, clubs and shopping malls. Teenagers may also be recognised by a common compulsion to play their music over loudly and to experiment with alcoholic beverages, quite often with unfortunate results. The male of the species is universally identifiable by out of control testosterone and an unshakable belief in it's own invincibility.
Teenagers are very conscious of their own sub species and one will very rarely find a mixture of the sub species voluntarily gathered together. For example the sub species "Bogan" will not voluntarily gather with other well known sub species such as "Geeks". The observer - on sighting such an unusual gathering should approach with extreme caution as the gathering could be a prelude to sub species combat - or more dangerously for the observer - a highly specialised sub group who are experts at camouflage and practice the very uncomfortable ritual known as "Baiting".
Other well known sub species - usually, but not always, found among the younger members of the type are known as "Louts", "Loud Mouths" , "Thugs" and "Drug & Alcohol Effected". These sub species very rarely reach full maturity but in any case the observer is cautioned to avoid them where ever possible. The problem of course is that all sub species are continuing to evolve and what may be firmly documented as fact today may not be valid tomorrow.
One of the most confusing aspects to the adult observer is the rumoured, rare, and in some cases unproven, existence of such sub species as "Diligent", "Hard Working" and "Obedient". The highly controversial subject - of whether or not the extremely rare sub species "Polite" still exists, or is in fact extinct, still rages in academic circles. Some observers believe that recent reported sightings are in fact those of the more common sub species known as "Chameleon". In some circumstances the "Chameleon" subspecies can almost exactly imitate the "Polite" sub species colouring and attitudes.
The single most remarkable aspect of studying the Teenager species is their metamorphosis stage! As they emerge from their chrysalis as fully formed adults they may have evolved into any of the known adult species. One of the most spectacular of these transformations is when a "Bogan" or "Lout" emerges as a fully transformed "Responsible Adult". Conversely "Geeks" have been known to emerge as "Drop Outs", " Low Achievers" and " Welfare Dependents".
The controversy over this species will continue indefinitely, not the least because one of the most frustrating effects of the metamorphosis stage is that emerging adults almost universally suffer a selective amnesia over their own Teenage stage. This seriously precludes any connective observations and continues to confuse researchers trying to find the answer to the "Teenage Problem".
Teenagers are very conscious of their own sub species and one will very rarely find a mixture of the sub species voluntarily gathered together. For example the sub species "Bogan" will not voluntarily gather with other well known sub species such as "Geeks". The observer - on sighting such an unusual gathering should approach with extreme caution as the gathering could be a prelude to sub species combat - or more dangerously for the observer - a highly specialised sub group who are experts at camouflage and practice the very uncomfortable ritual known as "Baiting".
Other well known sub species - usually, but not always, found among the younger members of the type are known as "Louts", "Loud Mouths" , "Thugs" and "Drug & Alcohol Effected". These sub species very rarely reach full maturity but in any case the observer is cautioned to avoid them where ever possible. The problem of course is that all sub species are continuing to evolve and what may be firmly documented as fact today may not be valid tomorrow.
One of the most confusing aspects to the adult observer is the rumoured, rare, and in some cases unproven, existence of such sub species as "Diligent", "Hard Working" and "Obedient". The highly controversial subject - of whether or not the extremely rare sub species "Polite" still exists, or is in fact extinct, still rages in academic circles. Some observers believe that recent reported sightings are in fact those of the more common sub species known as "Chameleon". In some circumstances the "Chameleon" subspecies can almost exactly imitate the "Polite" sub species colouring and attitudes.
The single most remarkable aspect of studying the Teenager species is their metamorphosis stage! As they emerge from their chrysalis as fully formed adults they may have evolved into any of the known adult species. One of the most spectacular of these transformations is when a "Bogan" or "Lout" emerges as a fully transformed "Responsible Adult". Conversely "Geeks" have been known to emerge as "Drop Outs", " Low Achievers" and " Welfare Dependents".
The controversy over this species will continue indefinitely, not the least because one of the most frustrating effects of the metamorphosis stage is that emerging adults almost universally suffer a selective amnesia over their own Teenage stage. This seriously precludes any connective observations and continues to confuse researchers trying to find the answer to the "Teenage Problem".
Friday, March 18, 2011
U.F.Os.
The very next person who confronts me with the accusation - "You're an ex military pilot - you MUST have seen UFOs." is going to be attacked with a baseball bat - preferably one with big nails in the end of it! Unfortunately for me there is one of these "UFO Investigators" living a mere few properties away from mine. Even more unfortunately he recently discovered I'm an ex Air Force pilot. Therefore, according to his tiny fixated little mind I must have seen LOTS of little green , or grey, or even pink with purple polka dot aliens. In his world colour is probably optional but in any case "You MUST have seen things that you were told not to talk about ." (His emphasis - not mine.)
I was stupid enough to attempt to talk rationally with the man and explain that the term U.F.O. stands for Unidentified Flying Object and does not signify the existence, or presence, of a manned extra terrestrial vehicle. An unidentified flying object is just that - an object, apparently airborne, which has not, at the time of observation, been identified. In effect the local seagulls are UFOs - until you have a good look and say to yourself - Ah! bloody seagulls - I hope they don't crap on my washing.
This "Investigator" is a pest of the worse kind, I concede that there are a small number of airborne objects that do not comply with normal investigative procedures and their form and purpose is never clearly defined, however this clown takes the view that any light/ shadow/ unusual phenomena in the sky - or on the ground - is some sort of alien contrivance. If he hears about it and it's less than a couple of hundred kilometers away he immediately sets forth with all manner of measuring equipment to "prove" that the men from Mars have landed. Equally unfortunately this idiot also has the mistaken belief that I have some secret knowledge that is denied to him and constantly tries to drag me along with him on his wild goose chases. I am seriously considering the purchase of a large vicious dog to discourage him.
I was stupid enough to attempt to talk rationally with the man and explain that the term U.F.O. stands for Unidentified Flying Object and does not signify the existence, or presence, of a manned extra terrestrial vehicle. An unidentified flying object is just that - an object, apparently airborne, which has not, at the time of observation, been identified. In effect the local seagulls are UFOs - until you have a good look and say to yourself - Ah! bloody seagulls - I hope they don't crap on my washing.
This "Investigator" is a pest of the worse kind, I concede that there are a small number of airborne objects that do not comply with normal investigative procedures and their form and purpose is never clearly defined, however this clown takes the view that any light/ shadow/ unusual phenomena in the sky - or on the ground - is some sort of alien contrivance. If he hears about it and it's less than a couple of hundred kilometers away he immediately sets forth with all manner of measuring equipment to "prove" that the men from Mars have landed. Equally unfortunately this idiot also has the mistaken belief that I have some secret knowledge that is denied to him and constantly tries to drag me along with him on his wild goose chases. I am seriously considering the purchase of a large vicious dog to discourage him.
It seems to me that this fool, and his faithful disciples, might also be referred to as UFOs - Unconditionally Fixated Obsessives!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Grumpy Old Women
I'm a firm believer in equal rights so it's only fair that, having sounded off about Grumpy Old Men, I now give equal attention to the female of the species; Grumpy Old Women. Women very rarely accept that they are ageing well and often become banshees of the black shawl set, acid tongued old crones who harangue us with their constant complaining about everything from the useless, broken down, ineffectual man in their life to the price of spuds at the Green Grocer.
Grumpy Old Women may once have been the Belle of the Ball, the vision of loveliness who took young men's breath away, or even the love of some poor delusioned man's life. But many women do grow sour with age. As their beauty fades and their sight dims it appears their one remaining joy in life is to make everyone feel as miserable as they do. Their spouse, or partner, if he lingers, never brings home enough money, or is to busy playing golf, or any of the other activities a man pursues to avoid going home. Their children grow distant and disinterested and the grandchildren are just another imposition on their mostly empty life.
So the bitterness , and the resentment grows. They grow bent, and can no longer control the advance of body weight. The once svelte curves, that turned men's heads have finally surrendered to the advance of cellulite, and arthritis, and a multitude of "women's" complaints. They sit on bus stops, and seats in city malls or parks and glare disapprovingly at the antics of the young. It seems that, to them, youth is the ultimate crime. One wonders if their fading memories retain any history of their own past and the fact that they too were once young. Perhaps, if those memories are still retained, they are ruthlessly suppressed, after all who wants to be reminded of what used to be. Then there is the opposite approach of these Grumpy Old Women - nothing is a good as it used to be and, it follows, no one else is as good as they were themselves. One hears the bitter complaints that - "When I was young etc, etc." - fill in the blanks for yourself.
Of course there is the final irony - the Merry Widows - of which there are many sub types. There is the calculating younger woman who carefully chose, and married, a man 10 or 20 years her senior and patiently waited for her time to come. They can be recognised by the brand new outfits purchased with the proceeds of their late husband's estate and their some what desperate attempts to catch a younger man, hopefully to reward them for their years of devoted and slow wearing down of their husbands to ensure the poor man meets his maker before his rightful time. A realisation that by the time they collected they were past their prime brings the whole gambit of bitterness to the fore. This sub type is easily confused with the divorcees who got impatient and bailed out before collection time. Their bitterness is usually accompanied by a string of invectives describing the ex husband, especially if he was smart enough to have an effective pre nuptial agreement in hand.
The final sub type we will examine is the most fearsome of the lot. The Self Sufficient Woman. This subtype is not always a Grumpy Old Woman but can display a very effective facsimile if it suits her game plan. Self sufficient women are inevitably well groomed, generally look younger than their true chronological age and quite often are well educated. A sure sign is if they have gone back and studied for a Degree or Diploma subsequent to their partner's demise. The self sufficient woman is likely to own her own property, or properties, and is most likely to be financially secure. She knows what she wants, and more importantly what she does not! Gentlemen be warned, the capture of the self sufficient woman is a task beyond the skills and capabilities of most mere males and has a high probability of backfiring. Be aware of Grumpy's 97th Law of Survival. The female of the species is more lethally dangerous than the male!
Grumpy Old Women may once have been the Belle of the Ball, the vision of loveliness who took young men's breath away, or even the love of some poor delusioned man's life. But many women do grow sour with age. As their beauty fades and their sight dims it appears their one remaining joy in life is to make everyone feel as miserable as they do. Their spouse, or partner, if he lingers, never brings home enough money, or is to busy playing golf, or any of the other activities a man pursues to avoid going home. Their children grow distant and disinterested and the grandchildren are just another imposition on their mostly empty life.
So the bitterness , and the resentment grows. They grow bent, and can no longer control the advance of body weight. The once svelte curves, that turned men's heads have finally surrendered to the advance of cellulite, and arthritis, and a multitude of "women's" complaints. They sit on bus stops, and seats in city malls or parks and glare disapprovingly at the antics of the young. It seems that, to them, youth is the ultimate crime. One wonders if their fading memories retain any history of their own past and the fact that they too were once young. Perhaps, if those memories are still retained, they are ruthlessly suppressed, after all who wants to be reminded of what used to be. Then there is the opposite approach of these Grumpy Old Women - nothing is a good as it used to be and, it follows, no one else is as good as they were themselves. One hears the bitter complaints that - "When I was young etc, etc." - fill in the blanks for yourself.
Of course there is the final irony - the Merry Widows - of which there are many sub types. There is the calculating younger woman who carefully chose, and married, a man 10 or 20 years her senior and patiently waited for her time to come. They can be recognised by the brand new outfits purchased with the proceeds of their late husband's estate and their some what desperate attempts to catch a younger man, hopefully to reward them for their years of devoted and slow wearing down of their husbands to ensure the poor man meets his maker before his rightful time. A realisation that by the time they collected they were past their prime brings the whole gambit of bitterness to the fore. This sub type is easily confused with the divorcees who got impatient and bailed out before collection time. Their bitterness is usually accompanied by a string of invectives describing the ex husband, especially if he was smart enough to have an effective pre nuptial agreement in hand.
The final sub type we will examine is the most fearsome of the lot. The Self Sufficient Woman. This subtype is not always a Grumpy Old Woman but can display a very effective facsimile if it suits her game plan. Self sufficient women are inevitably well groomed, generally look younger than their true chronological age and quite often are well educated. A sure sign is if they have gone back and studied for a Degree or Diploma subsequent to their partner's demise. The self sufficient woman is likely to own her own property, or properties, and is most likely to be financially secure. She knows what she wants, and more importantly what she does not! Gentlemen be warned, the capture of the self sufficient woman is a task beyond the skills and capabilities of most mere males and has a high probability of backfiring. Be aware of Grumpy's 97th Law of Survival. The female of the species is more lethally dangerous than the male!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Grumpy Old Men!
Curmudgeons, Grumps, Old Farts, call us what you will but we are a fact of life. A young man has an unshakable faith in his invincibility that only the ravishes of time, or perhaps self abuse, can erase. At twenty a young man is in the prime of his condition and is fast approaching the threshold of total maturity, and ultimately manhood. Some acquire that pinnacle in a rush, others with a slower and more considered approach.
Either way each of us, baring fatal accident or disease, will finally reach that point in time called middle age and from there the slide into old age is a fate non of us can escape. One would expect that, with the accumulated wisdom and experience of our years, we would mellow into a knowledgeable old guru who would sit and dispense his wisdom to any who are wise enough to listen. Not bloody likely. The onset of old age brings us reminders of the follies of our own youth in the form of arthritis, clogged arteries, unclassified pains, stiffness and a growing intolerance for the stupidities of mankind.
For some of us the bitter lessons of relationships gone wrong add further dissatisfaction to the journey of our life. Then there is the "I can still do it" syndrome which often manifests itself in middle age. For some it is black shirts worn unbuttoned over a protruding stomach and often coupled with a profusion of heavy golden jewelery worn like a yoke around the neck. Those of us unaffected by this syndrome sneer that "so and so is going through a second childhood" and laugh heartily at his childish antics. But we all suffer in one way or another from the mistaken belief that we still have what "it" takes. Significantly none of us are quite sure just what "it" is. I'm a retired pilot and for me the syndrome manifests itself in a passion for flying radio controlled model aircraft. I may not still be up there but my spirit is! - Yeah, right.
What ever the affliction it is inevitably accompanied by an increase in pain and stiffness that makes it difficult to get the body moving when we get out of bed. So by the time we creak our way to the breakfast table we have already started to build a head of steam. The toast burns or the coffee, which you forgot was there, is to damn cold. Then the morning paper is full of bad news and photos of lithe young bodies doing things with apparent effortless ease. We open the door and the cold blast of freezing morning air nearly blows us off our tottery old feet. Is it any wonder that the first person unfortunate enough to attempt a conversation gets blasted with a stream of vitriol and bad temper? Such is the life of an old curmudgeon.
Either way each of us, baring fatal accident or disease, will finally reach that point in time called middle age and from there the slide into old age is a fate non of us can escape. One would expect that, with the accumulated wisdom and experience of our years, we would mellow into a knowledgeable old guru who would sit and dispense his wisdom to any who are wise enough to listen. Not bloody likely. The onset of old age brings us reminders of the follies of our own youth in the form of arthritis, clogged arteries, unclassified pains, stiffness and a growing intolerance for the stupidities of mankind.
For some of us the bitter lessons of relationships gone wrong add further dissatisfaction to the journey of our life. Then there is the "I can still do it" syndrome which often manifests itself in middle age. For some it is black shirts worn unbuttoned over a protruding stomach and often coupled with a profusion of heavy golden jewelery worn like a yoke around the neck. Those of us unaffected by this syndrome sneer that "so and so is going through a second childhood" and laugh heartily at his childish antics. But we all suffer in one way or another from the mistaken belief that we still have what "it" takes. Significantly none of us are quite sure just what "it" is. I'm a retired pilot and for me the syndrome manifests itself in a passion for flying radio controlled model aircraft. I may not still be up there but my spirit is! - Yeah, right.
What ever the affliction it is inevitably accompanied by an increase in pain and stiffness that makes it difficult to get the body moving when we get out of bed. So by the time we creak our way to the breakfast table we have already started to build a head of steam. The toast burns or the coffee, which you forgot was there, is to damn cold. Then the morning paper is full of bad news and photos of lithe young bodies doing things with apparent effortless ease. We open the door and the cold blast of freezing morning air nearly blows us off our tottery old feet. Is it any wonder that the first person unfortunate enough to attempt a conversation gets blasted with a stream of vitriol and bad temper? Such is the life of an old curmudgeon.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Bloody Do Gooders
Yeah, that's right bloody mindless interfering Do Gooders. Do Gooders come in all shapes, sizes and genders, they may vary from the grubby little Boy Scout who insists on helping you cross the road to the well meaning but sadly confused Senior Citizen who drives you nuts pressing religious tomes on you at every opportunity.
Many of these ardent activists with the Good Samaritan complex have so buggered up their own lives that they are driven by some internal compulsion to seek atonement through trying to help others. They are, of course, completely blind to the fact that you do not want, and do not need their brand of "help". Among the Do Gooder sub types are churchies and other assorted God botherers, control freaks and those who insist on helping others as a form of domination - you can't do it - you're not capable - here - give it to me.
Then there are the apologists and those driven by a compulsion that continues to inflict self injury on themselves, both physical and psychological. They are usually recognisable by their introduction to the help they offer - they offer help and before it's even accepted start to apologise for their actions. They can also be recognised by the TYPE of help they offer - It is invariably some form of material goods (money, tools, food, what ever). In effect their help is a form of self imposed tithing. The material offered is never returned or replaced and the result of this is often that they continue to complain about how the are always being taken advantage of. For some strange reason it completely escapes their attention that if they simply stopped giving then they would have no grounds to complain.
I am firmly convinced that most Do Gooders are practicing some kind of self punishment, although they get burnt over and over it seems they can't stop helping or trying to help. I have some advice for them. STOP. Get a life and understand that the person who really needs the most help is yourself. Go see a Counsellor or an Analyst or something - find out why you have the compulsion to help. It's OK to offer assistance now and then to someone in real need but not every one wants, or will accept, help so BLOODY WELL STOP TRYING.
Many of these ardent activists with the Good Samaritan complex have so buggered up their own lives that they are driven by some internal compulsion to seek atonement through trying to help others. They are, of course, completely blind to the fact that you do not want, and do not need their brand of "help". Among the Do Gooder sub types are churchies and other assorted God botherers, control freaks and those who insist on helping others as a form of domination - you can't do it - you're not capable - here - give it to me.
Then there are the apologists and those driven by a compulsion that continues to inflict self injury on themselves, both physical and psychological. They are usually recognisable by their introduction to the help they offer - they offer help and before it's even accepted start to apologise for their actions. They can also be recognised by the TYPE of help they offer - It is invariably some form of material goods (money, tools, food, what ever). In effect their help is a form of self imposed tithing. The material offered is never returned or replaced and the result of this is often that they continue to complain about how the are always being taken advantage of. For some strange reason it completely escapes their attention that if they simply stopped giving then they would have no grounds to complain.
I am firmly convinced that most Do Gooders are practicing some kind of self punishment, although they get burnt over and over it seems they can't stop helping or trying to help. I have some advice for them. STOP. Get a life and understand that the person who really needs the most help is yourself. Go see a Counsellor or an Analyst or something - find out why you have the compulsion to help. It's OK to offer assistance now and then to someone in real need but not every one wants, or will accept, help so BLOODY WELL STOP TRYING.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Anti Smoking Advertisements
The Anti Smoking Lobby.
I'm a tobacco smoker and have been for more than 50 years. I know it's stupid and I know it doesn't do my health any favours and yes, I know I should give it up. I've tried on several occasions and I've even succeeded a couple of times - for a while. I know it caused my Peripheral Vascular Disease and my Doctor tells me constantly that I'm a prime candidate for something called COPD - Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. I wheeze, and I cough, and I'm used of my mouth feeling like the bottom of a cocky's cage when I wake up in the morning. You'd think that, being a reasonably lucid and intelligent human being, I'd take the hint and chuck the smokes. I'm trying, and from time to time I even manage to cut down for a while.
I've tried the gum, and the patches, and my Doctor even prescribed some god awful tablets that gave me all sorts of nightmares and flashbacks to places I'd rather not revisit. I've contacted the Anti Smoking Campaigns and they've sent me out their mostly useless literature that makes some appeals to my better nature and my "will power" and provides all sorts of forms and leaflets for me to read and/or fill out. In the long run it makes me wonder if they are really fair dinkum!
I am absolutely fed up with the anti smoking campaign advertisements. They are all highly emotional appeals to give up the habit. We have a small, unbelievably sweet, child telling her father how she played a game and her father SHOULD have been there! The poor bloody bloke is flat on his back and breathing oxygen through a tube. Just the sort of thing to make you feel better! All the rest of the adds are along the same theme. Smoking is a burden on your loved ones and you should be a good boy, or girl and give it up.
This is undoubtedly true BUT the anti smoking campaigns appear to forget one very important fact. SMOKING IS ADDICTIVE AND MOST SMOKERS WOULD LIKE TO GIVE IT UP. They spend millions of tax payers money on these adds and go around patting themselves self righteously on the back. BIG BLOODY DEAL. I wonder if perhaps the money would be better spent on a bit of honest research into EFFECTIVE ways to give up nicotine addiction. I can't help wondering if the amount of tax the government collects off tobacco doesn't in some way influence just how effective these anti smoking campaigns can be!
I'm a tobacco smoker and have been for more than 50 years. I know it's stupid and I know it doesn't do my health any favours and yes, I know I should give it up. I've tried on several occasions and I've even succeeded a couple of times - for a while. I know it caused my Peripheral Vascular Disease and my Doctor tells me constantly that I'm a prime candidate for something called COPD - Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. I wheeze, and I cough, and I'm used of my mouth feeling like the bottom of a cocky's cage when I wake up in the morning. You'd think that, being a reasonably lucid and intelligent human being, I'd take the hint and chuck the smokes. I'm trying, and from time to time I even manage to cut down for a while.
I've tried the gum, and the patches, and my Doctor even prescribed some god awful tablets that gave me all sorts of nightmares and flashbacks to places I'd rather not revisit. I've contacted the Anti Smoking Campaigns and they've sent me out their mostly useless literature that makes some appeals to my better nature and my "will power" and provides all sorts of forms and leaflets for me to read and/or fill out. In the long run it makes me wonder if they are really fair dinkum!
I am absolutely fed up with the anti smoking campaign advertisements. They are all highly emotional appeals to give up the habit. We have a small, unbelievably sweet, child telling her father how she played a game and her father SHOULD have been there! The poor bloody bloke is flat on his back and breathing oxygen through a tube. Just the sort of thing to make you feel better! All the rest of the adds are along the same theme. Smoking is a burden on your loved ones and you should be a good boy, or girl and give it up.
This is undoubtedly true BUT the anti smoking campaigns appear to forget one very important fact. SMOKING IS ADDICTIVE AND MOST SMOKERS WOULD LIKE TO GIVE IT UP. They spend millions of tax payers money on these adds and go around patting themselves self righteously on the back. BIG BLOODY DEAL. I wonder if perhaps the money would be better spent on a bit of honest research into EFFECTIVE ways to give up nicotine addiction. I can't help wondering if the amount of tax the government collects off tobacco doesn't in some way influence just how effective these anti smoking campaigns can be!
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